Hysteria is Possible Without an Audience
Learn How to Stand Up for Yourself
One of my favorite sayings that I’ve lived by for years is- “Hysteria is impossible without an audience”, hence the title of this article. I’ve always interpreted it as “Think before you speak, or you’ll create an even bigger issue by bringing people into what’s bothering you. However, as time progressed, this saying took on an entirely new meaning.
Now I use it in a a way that enables me to express my most uncomfortable feelings to free myself of suffering. I no longer believe that keeping it all inside is the answer.
Learning how to speak up and stand up for myself has been a life-long journey for me, and sometimes I feel like I am not making any progress in that area, but rather regressing, even though that is far from the truth because I am well aware of the work it has taken for me to build the emotional resilience that I currently possess.
I am proud of the person I’ve become, and the person I am becoming, hence why I would like to impart what I’ve learned so all of you sweet people pleasers can become more confident in standing in your truth and so you can stop people from walking all over you.
Here’s what you need to know!
Discomfort will go away
First things first, you have to ask yourself- “Is it better to speak up and be a little uncomfortable for a couple of hours or days, or to keep it to yourself and let it eat you up inside for months or even years?” You and I both know the answer to this question, so do not try to lie to yourself.
The longer you procrastinate, the worse it will become, the more room you’ll create for suffering. You have to decide to end the silence to improve the situation. Becoming aware that silence isn’t the solution is the first step to speaking up.
You may feel that the awkwardness of speaking about negative emotions, in whatever circumstance, will never disappear, but it will. Trust me, the discomfort will eventually go away. It always does.
Everything is 100 times worse in your head
If you are a non-confrontational person or very shy or introverted, you might find yourself overthinking the interaction long before it happens. Your mind starts spinning and creating the worst scenarios, and it feels like there’s not going back.
This is a good time to take a deep breath and put some things in perspective. Try to remind yourself that your mind is lying to you and that everything is 100 times worse in your head than it is in real life. Always remember that half of the things you imagine never actually happen.
Instead of thinking- “What if this doesn’t work out?”, start thinking- “What if this turns out to not only be the best thing I’ve done for the person/people around me but also for my mental and emotional health?”
Nobody is thinking about you
I mean this in the most positive way possible, because, you see most people place greater importance upon themselves and what they say, how they act, etc., rather than on the behavior of others. In knowing this, you can breathe a sigh of relief and hopefully stop overthinking.
No matter what happens, whether the conversation makes things better or worse, your relationship with that person will eventually go back to the way it was before, or it will at least be calm and civil. Naturally, there are instances where this isn’t the case, but those are quite rare. Most people, in my experience, will want to preserve the ‘status quo’ and keep their composure.
Be your own hype man
Trust yourself that with handling uncomfortable conversations, with overcoming challenging situations. Remember who you are what you stand for, and most importantly what you are trying to achieve.
Oftentimes, we are our own worst critics, especially those of us who are overthinkers or who are socially anxious, because we tend to stand in our way and complicate things that are usually pretty simple to the common man.
Also, I use the word ‘hype man’ in a completely gender-neutral way. Be a hype man or woman or person, or whatever. Just be confident, go out there and kill it!
There you have it! I hope these tips have helped make you feel more relaxed in speaking your mind. Always remember that progress is never linear and that it will take a lot of patience to achieve the confidence and build your desired attitude, so please be kind to yourself.
Be kind, be gentle, but keep moving. Don’t get discouraged if you fail to confront people right away or don’t say everything you planned on saying. Just keep pushing yourself through the uncomfortable moments, just keep talking and having those hard conversations because they are crucial for maintaining healthy human relationships. That is what all of us should strive for, at the end of the day.
